Dear Diary,

I feel like I can’t breathe. These are some of the hardest weeks I’ve experienced as a teacher and I have no idea what to do. I have parent meetings one-after-another, and principal meetings one-after-another, and actual teaching that needs to get done. It’s rough out here. This issue has been going on for a minute, which is why it’s been so hard carving out time to write, but now that I have a minute to breathe, let me explain.

The background

The first thing I need to point out is that parents have a tendency to want to protect their child. It’s nature. However, when a parent refuses to acknowledge their child’s participation in something, especially something negative, this can negatively impact their growth. Now, parents won’t admit that, they like to think that their child can do no harm. The issue is that children can do harm. They lie, they cheat, they steal, and they don’t realize these are bad things unless an adult calls them out. If a teacher calls them out, unless the parents agree, the child doesn’t learn. Here lies my problems.

Lately, children have not been successful in my class, due to their lack of participation, poor behaviour, and nonchalantness regarding my class. Unfortunately, now that report cards are out, parents are looking for answers. Why did my child fail? Why did the teacher write that my child’s behaviour needs work? You see, parents take things to heart; especially when it comes to their child. They think that if their child failed, they failed. Which, to some extent, is true. But the child is also responsible. The name of the game is this : who is to blame? Parents, however, will rarely point the finger at themselves. Instead, they blame the teacher. The children will find ways to blame the teacher for their failures, and the parents will eat it up, without even checking with the teacher, the aids, or the principal.

The problem

So, for the past few days, I’ve been dealing with exactly that. Lies fabricated by children who don’t want to take ownership for their failures, and emails sent from parents who refuse to acknowledge that they played a role in their child’s poor behaviour. Because of these emails, I’m now stuck in an office with my principal for hours on end, showing work production, lesson plans, emails sent to parents, and providing explanations for every little comment being made. It is EXHAUSTING.

Although I can handle a few reviews every now and again, but what I can’t handle are the constant, repeated comments being made by certain parents. My principal acknowledges that they are unfounded, the aids in my class can attest to everything being done, but no one wants to stand up to the parents. That’s the hardest part. Standing up to parents who won’t hesitate to file a report with the School Board.

The solution

What is the solution in a case like this one? If I continue to stay on the defensive, it’ll look like maybe I am doing something wrong. If I don’t defend myself, who knows how the parents will spiral. They can’t help it, and that’s not to say it’s everyone, but the few that won’t stop the harassment make it continuously harder to do my job.

For these parents, some want to be heard, and others want to attack. The one’s that want to be heard are easier to manage. I just have to listen, nod my head, and move on. The one’s that want to attack often feel guilty for their inadequacies as parents, so the conversations with them are unproductive. We can’t come to an agreement and I’m stuck dealing with the consequences, whether I deserve it or not.

Now for the solution; there is none. That’s not to say there aren’t things I can’t do to mitigate the issues, but people will think what they want and they will do what they want. The best I can do is continue to be open to what they have to say, deny the false allegations, call out the parents (respectfully, ugh), and work on just being there for the kids.

If you have any suggestions, or similar stories, feel free to share! I’d love to feel less alone in all of this.

Sincerely,

A severely exhausted New Teacher